Last week we had a doctor's appointment with the fertility specialist, and I've been debating if I should blog about it or not. Although I've found so much peace and freedom in talking and blogging about our "infertility journey", I feel like there are still things I am not completely comfortable sharing. For those of you who have been through this, can you relate? Anyway, without telling too many details, I will say that when we walked away, Steve was completely hopeful...and I was completely not. It took everything in me not to break down and sob right there in the office. The results we were given were completely NOT what we were expecting. So now we have to do some more tests (which means more referrals, more insurance approvals...MORE WAITING!) and hopefully within the next 3 or 4 months we will have answers. If the new tests don't give us any new information, the next step would be IVF. I don't think we would choose to go that direction, but we are praying about it, asking the Lord to help us be patient (especially me!), give us clear direction, and desiring to give Him glory in all of it along the way.
I've learned so much about myself through this journey and our marriage has definitely become stronger. So many friends and family members are praying for us, which gives so much comfort and peace. I've also recently read One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp, which has totally challenged me in so many areas of my life. I highly recommend it!
No matter how difficult my days are, at the end of each one when I hear my precious Claire pray, "Dear Jesus, please give me a baby sister," I am reminded that I've already been given such an amazing gift in her. I know there are so many couples out there who would give their right arm to have just one child, and I do. I thank the Lord every day for her and her sweet little life. If God's desire for us is to have just one, I want to find complete joy, thankfulness, and peace in that.
Thank you for your faithful prayers for us on this journey...