Saturday, December 14, 2013

on my heart.

 John 15:16
This week was rough.  It was one of those when-is-this-week-going-to-end kind of weeks.  One of those weeks where I probably complained too much, I know I didn't always have the best attitude, and was feeling sorry for myself for a lot of it.  Yuk.  I don't really like myself like that (who does, really?!?).

I had to be at school each day by 7:15, which means Claire had to be there by 7:15.  She was so tired by the end of it all, she was an emotional wreck! 

My students just know that Christmas break is around the corner.  They were chatty, and rude to each other, impatient, and said a lot of unkind things.  And that exhausts me.  But I can't really blame them...we all kinda need a break.

We had our school Christmas program last night.  We've been practicing for weeks.  All week, it felt like our part was just falling a part.  The kids were tired of rehearsing, so they were pushing each other in their rows, not singing, shout-singing, and just being kids!

I feel like I have a completely unorganized classroom, which overwhelms me.  I missed a couple deadlines this week and just felt like I was letting people down by not pulling my weight.

My house is a disaster.  Laundry desperately needs to be done.  Dishes stayed in the dishwasher for days, which means dirty dishes stacked by the sink.  Homework's been an afterthought. Papers need to be graded because I sure don't want to grade them over Christmas break!  Christmas cards have been addressed, but now need to be stuffed and mailed.  The last few gifts need to be wrapped so I can clean up my wrapping mess.

But this morning....the morning I could actually stay in bed a little later and sleep a little longer...I woke right up at 5:30 and couldn't go back to sleep.  All the things of the week were whirling around in my heart.  I kept thinking of little moments from the week.  And all of a sudden, I knew it was all from the Lord. I have so many thoughts going on right now...I'm trying to get them all written here...

My first thought was...even though I couldn't wait for this week to be over, if I had to, I'd do it all over again.  Through all the crazy overwhelmingness of this week, I realized how much I care for and love my students.  Each of them.  Right where they are in their little lives.

Our Christmas program was incredible last night.  I didn't get to see the whole thing, but I did see my 4th graders belting out Christmas songs about Jesus, our Savior...Joy to the World, The First Noel, Carol of the Bells...yes, these songs, at the PUBLIC school where I teach.  And they were awesome, I feel so proud!

Even though Claire had a long hard week, we were able to spend a lot of quality time together.  She loves talking about Christmas, and wants to keep reading the stories of Jesus' birth in her Jesus Storybook Bible.  It makes my heart so happy to see her falling in love with Jesus, understanding the reason for His birth, and daily thanking Him for the blessings He's given to her.

Steve has been amazing this week...helpmate.  That's what he's been.  Never complained once about the million tasks I've asked of him.  Patiently listened to me complain.  Daily made my lunch and took care of Claire's schoolwork and schedule.  I am so grateful.

This year, at the beginning of 2013, I asked the Lord for a word for the year.  I felt the word Ready laid on my heart.  The Lord told me that there were going to be a lot of changes in my life in 2013, and He wanted me to be ready for any and all of them.  So I knew this year would be hard, I shouldn't even be surprised at how difficult this week was for me.  But I got through it, each day with the Lord.  I made mistakes.  But I also ministered, loved the unlovable, tried to be very patient, had tough conversations with people, talked about character, read the Christmas story, inadvertently shared my faith, and tried help students think of others besides themselves.

If I had to do it all over again, I would.  I'm so thankful for His new mercies, for me, my family, my class.  And I'm so thankful that my mercies can be new next week when I do all these things again.

1 comment:

  1. Teachers are amazing people, all the good ones I know feel disorganized and ill equipped. Thank you for your investment, children are not just our future, they are our present!


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