#6

I've made a list of my Top 10 favorite memories from 2013, & my number 6 goes well beyond just one memory and one year.  It is something I'm still experiencing weekly.

At the beginning of 2013, I told the Lord I wanted to be READY for any and all things He was going to do in my life that year.  At the beginning of the year, I had a very specific list of things I told Him I was ready for.  But as the year went on, I began to see ways He wanted me to be ready...ways I was not completely prepared for.

One thing we began to pray about last February was what school(s) should we consider for Claire.  There are so many options here in San Diego...our neighborhood school, Christian school, home school, home school part-time go to school part-time, charter school...it was a bit overwhelming.  As I began to research, I started to realize that if I continue my job in full-time church ministry, I would be on a completely different schedule than Claire!  I'd be working on the weekends when she'd be off from school.  Summers were always a hectic time in children's ministry, which is when Claire would be home from school.

Steve & I began to pray harder about what we should do.  There's a part of me that would love to stay home & home school, but I knew we weren't ready for that.  Teaching was something I had done for 4 years before Claire was born & I'd always said I'd love to go back to it when all our kids were school age.  Well, since we haven't been able to have any more kids, I decided to start looking into going back to teaching.

Long story short, I got hired at the school where I'd previously taught, Literacy First Charter School, annnndddd...Claire got into one of the kindergarten classes!  Her teacher, Mrs. Todd, and I used to teach 3rd grade together for 3 years and I've always just LOVED her!

I am so overwhelmed with God's goodness to our family in this way.  I never take for granted the fact that I get to be on the same campus as Claire every day and be home with her on her days off.  With Steve's schedule always different and changing, this is our constant.

I love that Claire comes to my classroom during her breaks and that my students know her..."Hi Claire!" they all say when she comes in.  She pretends to be embarrassed, but loves the attention from the big kids!  Her classroom is the next hallway over from mine, when she goes to after school care, she's 2 doors down from my classroom.  I've been able to watch her grow and develop her friendship and I'm so proud of the friend choices she's making.  She's become so confident in who she is as a person, and I've been able to watch it all first hand!

I don't know how long the Lord will keep us in this place, but for now it's good.  And I'm so grateful.

on my heart.

 

This week was rough.  It was one of those when-is-this-week-going-to-end kind of weeks.  One of those weeks where I probably complained too much, I know I didn't always have the best attitude, and was feeling sorry for myself for a lot of it.  Yuk.  I don't really like myself like that (who does, really?!?).

I had to be at school each day by 7:15, which means Claire had to be there by 7:15.  She was so tired by the end of it all, she was an emotional wreck! 

My students just know that Christmas break is around the corner.  They were chatty, and rude to each other, impatient, and said a lot of unkind things.  And that exhausts me.  But I can't really blame them...we all kinda need a break.

We had our school Christmas program last night.  We've been practicing for weeks.  All week, it felt like our part was just falling a part.  The kids were tired of rehearsing, so they were pushing each other in their rows, not singing, shout-singing, and just being kids!

I feel like I have a completely unorganized classroom, which overwhelms me.  I missed a couple deadlines this week and just felt like I was letting people down by not pulling my weight.

My house is a disaster.  Laundry desperately needs to be done.  Dishes stayed in the dishwasher for days, which means dirty dishes stacked by the sink.  Homework's been an afterthought. Papers need to be graded because I sure don't want to grade them over Christmas break!  Christmas cards have been addressed, but now need to be stuffed and mailed.  The last few gifts need to be wrapped so I can clean up my wrapping mess.

But this morning....the morning I could actually stay in bed a little later and sleep a little longer...I woke right up at 5:30 and couldn't go back to sleep.  All the things of the week were whirling around in my heart.  I kept thinking of little moments from the week.  And all of a sudden, I knew it was all from the Lord. I have so many thoughts going on right now...I'm trying to get them all written here...

My first thought was...even though I couldn't wait for this week to be over, if I had to, I'd do it all over again.  Through all the crazy overwhelmingness of this week, I realized how much I care for and love my students.  Each of them.  Right where they are in their little lives.

Our Christmas program was incredible last night.  I didn't get to see the whole thing, but I did see my 4th graders belting out Christmas songs about Jesus, our Savior...Joy to the World, The First Noel, Carol of the Bells...yes, these songs, at the PUBLIC school where I teach.  And they were awesome, I feel so proud!

Even though Claire had a long hard week, we were able to spend a lot of quality time together.  She loves talking about Christmas, and wants to keep reading the stories of Jesus' birth in her Jesus Storybook Bible.  It makes my heart so happy to see her falling in love with Jesus, understanding the reason for His birth, and daily thanking Him for the blessings He's given to her.

Steve has been amazing this week...helpmate.  That's what he's been.  Never complained once about the million tasks I've asked of him.  Patiently listened to me complain.  Daily made my lunch and took care of Claire's schoolwork and schedule.  I am so grateful.

This year, at the beginning of 2013, I asked the Lord for a word for the year.  I felt the word Ready laid on my heart.  The Lord told me that there were going to be a lot of changes in my life in 2013, and He wanted me to be ready for any and all of them.  So I knew this year would be hard, I shouldn't even be surprised at how difficult this week was for me.  But I got through it, each day with the Lord.  I made mistakes.  But I also ministered, loved the unlovable, tried to be very patient, had tough conversations with people, talked about character, read the Christmas story, inadvertently shared my faith, and tried help students think of others besides themselves.

If I had to do it all over again, I would.  I'm so thankful for His new mercies, for me, my family, my class.  And I'm so thankful that my mercies can be new next week when I do all these things again.

ministry life.

                 

                
Someone said to me the other day, "Do you miss being in full time ministry?"  I wish I could have seen what my face looked like when they asked that.  People (my sisters) usually tell me that I don't need to say any words, my face always expresses exactly what I'm thinking.

"No I'm not working for a church anymore, but I still consider myself to be in full-time ministry."  To me, that's exactly what I'm doing as a 4th grade teacher.  I have 28 little lives that I get to pour into 35 hours a week.  And I don't take it lightly.

28 lives I get to pray for, speak truth into, love unconditionally, hug, high-5, smile at, listen to, laugh with, teach long-division to, demonstrate good character to, have class parties with, take lunch count for, do brain breaks with, grade tests for, learn patience from, and just be there for.

To me, that's exactly what full-time ministry is all about.  And I'm thankful that's exactly what I get to do every day of the work week.

Friday's Letters

Dear Husband...I miss you!!  I am so thankful you've had work...but 8 days is a long time to be a single momma.  Come HOME!  And PS...thank you for sacrificing so much to take care of us!!  I love you so much more for it & am always so blown away by your creativity & lighting skills.

Dear Claire Bear...your little missing tooth is so darn cute, but PLEASE stop growing up.  It's seriously going by way too fast.  I am so proud of the little lady you are becoming.  And I love getting to watch you at school...you are blossoming & becoming so confident in your own skin.  I love it!

Dear Gavin...thank you for another amazing album.  Seriously...I think this one is my fave.  Especially Need.  So good!

Dear Claire...yes you get two this time...I love snuggling with you, but I don't sleep well with you.  As much as you are a snuggler, you are also a thrasher!  Good thing you're so adorable in your sleep!

Dear 4th grade...you're kicking my booty...but I'm loving (almost) every minute of it!!

Linking up with Ashley at the sweet season

change...

...is so hard, but so necessary.  It can be sad, and yet rewarding.  Change feels uncomfortable, but the blessings from it make us proud.  It's inevitable, it's biblical, it's exciting.

We're about to go through a big change here in our family.  Well, mostly I am, but it will affect Steve & Claire.  For the better.  It will makes us stronger, a better team, and allow us to have more time together.

After much prayer, I've decided to leave my full-time ministry job at our church and go back to the classroom as an elementary teacher.  As Claire gets ready to enter kinder this fall (waaaahhhhhh), Steve and I re-evaluated what changes need to be made for our family.  Claire will be in school Monday-Friday and as of right now I work at church Tuesday-Thursday, Saturday, & Sunday.  Our schedules would be so opposite.  We'd rarely have a full day together as a family, and that made my momma heart hurt.

I've always said I would go back to teaching when we're done having kids and our youngest was in kinder.  Well, we haven't been able to have any more kids so far, and our youngest is headed off to kinder.  I know what you're thinking...."she's gonna get pregnant."  Welp, maybe...hopefully...if it's part of God's plan we'll rejoice and then re-evaaluate again.

Right now we're rejoicing in the blessings of our obedience.  I'm nervous, overwhelmed, and feeling a little behind in the education world.  But I know I'm making the right choice for our family, and I know that this change will be used for His glory.

2006...at the Wild Animal Park for a field trip my last year of teaching 3rd grade